Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Gobble Gobble? You Mean Oink Oink.

Day: Thursday, November 25, 2010.
Time: 5:00 PM.
Location: Aunt's house. 

              Thanksgiving. The one day a year when people think it is perfectly acceptable to gorge themselves on a ridiculous amount of high calorie foods. (Ehh, it only happens once a year, right??) Well, not for me. Not this year. I'm coming up with a game plan, a strategy, that will get me through the holiday with no weight gain. (My mantra: No gain! Just maintain!)
               Now, with Turkey Day looming, I've got to kick it into gear. So I called my best friend, to give me a pep talk. Let me give you a glimpse into our conversation.

TLC: Should I just give myself a cheat day? I should, shouldn't I?
M: Yes. I give myself a cheat day once a week.
TLC: But I don't want to. Wahhh. What am I going to do??? I can't live without pumpkin pie. I just can't.
M: You have plenty of healthy options! Think about it! Cranberries, sweet potatoes, turkey, green beans...

Ahh.... You see, this is where she is wrong. 

Cranberries? Yes. However, my family makes the sweetest (and most delicious) cranberry relish known to man. I wouldn't hesitate to say there is at least a pound of sugar in one batch.


Sweet potatoes? Check. There's plenty of sweet potato casserole to go around. Complete with crispy, ooey-gooey marshmallow on top of the nutrient-rich vegetable.
Turkey? Yeah. There's turkey. But I never eat it. During my vegetarian years I didn't eat it. And even though I eat turkey now, I always skip it so I could have more cranberry relish. Plus, It has Tryptophan which makes me sleepy, and I don't want to be sleepy. 

Green beans? Yes, we have a green bean casserole that I'm sure is just loaded with fat. But it's green...so it's healthy, right?
Apples? Pumpkin? Pineapple? Yes, we have all three of those. Apple pie, pumpkin pie, and pineapple casserole.

 Ugh.. This is going to be tempting. PLUS my family always has food to feed an army, so you better believe I go home with leftovers.
And that's just stop #1. Oh. Didn't I mention I go to two houses on Thanksgiving? Check back tomorrow for my "Thanksgiving Survival Guide"
Gobble Gobble? You mean Oink Oink.

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